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  • Practical Things to Do during 21 days Lockedown

    21 days it is. India needed that very much. I’m seeing a lot of posts on social media about utilizing this period. I totally agree, we all have to be in this together by staying at home. For a lot of people the thought of staying at home continuously can be frightening. For me it’s another story. I love staying at home. But yes, 21 days at a stretch will be difficult. So I want to share something with you. I guess it will help.

    Reset your mind: Whenever a big change comes in our life, at first we need to accept it. Without accepting a situation we won’t be able to deal with it. Accept that you will be staying home and tell yourself that it is actually a great opportunity. Try to remember when was the last time you got so much time. I would suggest you to think of ways you can utilize that time.

    Plan your days: Netflix and quarantining is fine but too much of anything is not good for mental or physical health. I have made a list of things I want to do in this period. Reading books, watching movies, cooking, cleaning, grooming myself, creating handmade things for myself and for our home are some of the points from the list. I also want to do an online course that I have registered into. This is a great time to learn and keep the brain active.

    Routine: Only planning won’t do us good. We need to make a routine and follow it to accomplish things. Homemakers know how much time it requires to maintain a home. It is a good time to include other family members in the daily chores. Some people will learn to appreciate the work a homemaker does. Other than that make a routine to take out some time every day to do what you have planned to do.

    Co-exist: Most of us are not accustomed to stay together uninterruptedly. Even if you are a couple or a family. Things can get very overwhelming very quickly. Just because you are staying together in a house or in a flat all the time doesn’t mean you have to be together emotionally ALL THE TIME. Give space to each other. You can be in a room and not speak to each other for hours. You can do your own work and not feel guilty. It’s not your duty to entertain everyone all the time.

    Rationing: 21 days of lockdown means most of us can’t have meat, fish or egg every single day. Use what you have stored very very thoughtfully. I can’t imagine how so many people are already stressing about food. So please be cautious. Don’t, please don’t waste food or any other resources.

    Energy management: We shouldn’t burn all our energy at the beginning of a long war. Be active, but don’t over do it. Workout, be productive but whatever you do, try to do it moderately. And one thing, please don’t be lazy. I know a lot of people like to hibernate to kill time. I used to do that. Eventually this practice leads to boredom and depression. This is the time to follow the ‘middle path’ ladies.

    Gratitude: Practice gratitude. This is the time to be grateful. A number of us still have enough food, proper shelter, electricity, modes of communication, most importantly we are still healthy. Be grateful for that. Just be grateful for one thing every day. If you ask me, what am I grateful for today?

    “Enough food in this lockdown situation” would be my answer.

    Please be safe. Keep social distance. Stay at home. Accept and love your state of being. Try to improve it if needed.

    Will see you with another post. Till then keep the spirit high!

    xoxo

    Mrs. Raay

  • Why I don’t want to be a Beauty Blogger :

    Loving makeup and being a beauty blogger is simply two different things. I love makeup more than food. If you give me 2k to spend on something I would never ever spend it on food. I would probably buy some new and interesting beauty and skin care products, or clothes or books. I had thought of starting a beauty blog or Youtube channel before because I was buying a lot of products at that time (2017-2018 mostly). But soon I realised that this is not what I want. And today I have decided to share the reasons behind this decision.

    1. Money matters: Honesty I don’t want to pay full price to buy “just launched” products only to review them as early as possible so that I can get better views. That’s insane! I know that I will definitely end up unliking most of them. Buying what I will not use in future is simply wasting hard earned money.

    2. Best Before: I could not finish using most of the products before their expiry date. Most of the makeup products have 3 year life span. It is next to impossible to completely use 4 different eyeshadow pallets! I have unused blushes and foundations as well, all expired. Now what will you do with them other than throwing them away. Recently I suffered from skin problems caused by an expired highlighter! Can you believe that! Its dangerous to use expired products. I have seen beauty bloggers keeping everything they own even after the expiry date. Some of them are makeup collectors also. I can understand that. Sometimes throwing away your wedding lipstick is painful and unnecessary. But I just hate the thought of wasting things without fully utilizing them.

    3. Becoming a Sell Out : Almost all the bloggers and Youtubers (influencers) are changing their beauty routines every alternative weeks. Why? Because saying no to the money these sponsorships offer is difficult. It is not only hurting their reputations, it’s also damaging their skins. I have stopped following a lot of B-bloggers because of this reason. I just can’t trust their reviews or recommendations anymore. That is one of the reasons why I don’t want to be a beauty blogger.

    4. Minimalistic lifestyle: We are not minimalists. We spend a lot on home decor and furnitures but we feel that whatever we buy for our home is necessary. We need a centre table for our drawing room. Can’t ask the guests to keep the cups on their laps, can I?! So buying a centre table is thoughtful spending, actually an investment. Recently I have felt that buying too much makeup is not an investment. It might be for some of you but it is not for me anymore. I have decided to consume thoughtfully and being a beauty blogger just won’t go with my lifestyle.

    5. Occasionally: Another reason that is preventing me from buying makeup is the number of days I actually wear makeup. My current profession has a strict dress code. So basically I don’t get to wear a lot of makeup in a daily basis. I don’t go out to party. Marriage ceremonies and other special occasions are not frequent. So buying a bottle of hairspray is just a wastage. Recently I found out that I have to throw away my Toni & Guy hair spray bottles. Hardly sprayed them twice or thrice. If I were a professional makeup artist, I wouldn’t have mind buying makeup (I do love them sooo much). But sometimes in your life you need to be practical and try to look at the bigger picture.

    No offense to the Beauty blogger community. I honestly follow a lot of them and watch their videos before buying any product. I just shared why I cannot solely be a beauty blogger. If you are planning to be one, this post might give you another perspective. I don’t want to discourage anyone but reading about some practical thoughts won’t hurt much I guess.

    I want to know what you feel about this topic. Would really love to talk more about this.

    Stay tuned. Will meet soon on a new post. Till then try to consume thoughtfully.

    xoxo
    Mrs Raay

  • Let’s talk about INFIDELITY

    Gosh, it is a quite a difficult subject to write about. After all we are talking about unfaithfulness (that’s what infidelity literally means). I’m going to discuss about it without being judgemental. That’s why not writing this as a “How to” post, you know.. not as a “How to catch your cheating husband or wife” or “How to cheat on your husband or wife” kind of a post! I just want to understand the reasons behind infidelity, the mechanism of it. So let’s see what we can think about extra marital affairs!

    Let’s start from the beginning

    We live in a monogamous social structure. Most of us do. Where it is a norm to have only one sexual partner at a time. Some of us are going along with this system happily, some of us are finding it difficult. The question is, are we naturally monogamous? If you look at history, this practice of monogamy came to India with Christianity. And that is not very long ago. Before that men were allowed to have polygamous relationships. Polyandry or women having several husbands were not a sin as well. Polyandry is still practiced in some parts of India. So basically everything is normal and natural. The thing is, it’s not normal in this particular space and time. But what if a person is polygamous by nature? What if s/he is trying very hard to work the monogamous relationship? Should we as a society shame that person? Or should we appreciate the effort s/he is giving?

    What if it’s him

    “If my husband cheats on me, I would never ever forgive him” or “If I ever catch him red handed, he’ll see what I can do!” – I think we have heard this somewhere or the other. Some people think that a person cheats because he or she is unhappy with the other half. But if you think logically most of the time it’s not the case. People cheat because they want to, because they can, because it’s thrilling or because they are genuinely interested in another person. Most of the time it’s not you who is lacking something! And most of the time a person who is being unfaithful doesn’t necessarily “hate” you or doesn’t appreciate being with you. Yes, he has difficulty in following rules and sticking with his promises. Discuss about it, shaming the person won’t really help. I have seen women thinking or feeling that they are ‘not good enough’. That is definitely not true most of the time! So punishing yourself won’t help, punishing the other person won’t address the root cause either! I think one should discuss clearly with eachother about your believes and view points. Don’t be hesitant to go to a marriage counselor. Don’t be ashamed to get help (counseling). It saves you from a lot of unnecessary drama.

    What if it’s you?

    So what if you like it? A mature answer to this question cannot be either black or white. Do you feel guilty? Or do you just feel afraid of getting caught? Or maybe you know what to do but you just can’t help it! Theoretically you should talk to your partner but practically it might cause a lot of drama. I think a clear purpose of life comes handy in this situation. What is your purpose of life? How do you want to live? Where do you want to see yourself? Why do you want to be married or be in a relationship? Ask yourself these questions. Then analyse weither infidelity helps you or not. You will be able to find your way. And as I said before, don’t be afraid to get help!

    The other option

    ” ‘Polyamory’ is the practice of, or desire for intimate relationship with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved. It has been described as ‘consensual, ethical and responsible non-monogamy’ “. (Wiki)

    This may sound very unreal but it exists. Most of us might be unaware of this practice in our society. Some people are choosing to be in a polyamorous relationship and they are happy. I feel it’s better to be accepting than judgemental. Rigidity doesn’t help in the long run because society is ever-changing. Who knows, this practice might become a norm after a few decades!

    Okay, this wasn’t very hard to discuss! But I want to know about your thoughts as well!! If you are not comfortable commenting down below, you can always DM on my Instagram.

    Will see you soon dear. Till then, ask yourself uneasy questions and don’t be afraid to answer them.

    xoxo

    Mrs. Ray

  • How to Look Elegant in a Saree


    Women automatically look very charming in a saree but how to look really classy? Here goes a few tips and tricks which make a saree look “Gayetri Devi”-ish royal!

    1. Invest on quality : Make sure what material you are buying. Buy real silks and cottons or linens. Avoid synthetic sarees, those fabrics look neither royal nor elegant.

    2. Falls and pico: Good fall of a saree is a must. A saree without a fall doesn’t look nice and it becomes difficult to drape it. Always buy good quality falls for your sarees and go to experts for attaching them to the sarees if you aren’t comfortable with needle and thread. Also pico your sarees if needed because loose threads hanging from a saree is very off putting.

    3. Same colours: Choose a matching blouse in the same fabric as the saree. It’s just a game changer, looks elegant instantly.

    4. Accessoirize with jewellery: It doesn’t matter how much jewellery you wear. Only ‘less is more’ is elegant and the other way isn’t is not true. Make sure your jewelries are finely made and they must complement the saree.

    5. Well fitted blouse and peticoat: We all know ill fitted blouses look terrible and are enough to ruin any elegant look.but most of us neglect the fit of a peticoat. A peticoat must be made according to your height and body measurements. Most of us wear ready made cotton peticoats because they are affordable and cotton is great for Indian hot and humid weather. Just make sure the peticoat ends were it should end. Just on your ankle. Not above it or bellow it. Another thing, please wear a matching peticoat. A blue peticoat under a red saree is just flatly disgusting.

    6. Posture: Even if you are wearing the prettiest saree, bad posture will ruin the whole look. So keep your head high and back straight. Remember, good posture can make a look and bad posture can break it!

    7. Hide the shoes: If you are wearing heals, please make sure they are hidden under your saree. Your legs will look slimmer and you will look taller. Even when you are wearing flats with a saree make sure it is covering your shoes. Ankle length saree only looks good on a dancer when she’s performing.

    8. Practice makes it perfect: If you aren’t comfortable wearing a saree, just practice at home. My sister wasn’t a pro before, but she practiced draping a saree everyday. After a couple of days she could even ride bicycle wearing a saree.

    9. Feel the fabric: There is something with the feel of the saree. If you like the feel and fall of a saree you will automatically love wearing it. Loving a piece of clothing is very important, only then you will go back to that cloth. This happens with me, there are a few sarees that I absolutely love because how they make me feel. So create a bond with your sarees. No I’m not mad, you’ll see what I mean.

    10. Smile: It goes with everything. A warm and welcoming smile instantly makes a woman the most elegant woman in the room. So don’t ever forget about this curved line.

    I think that’s pretty much everything! The pictures are here to inspire you ladies. Write to me if you want to read more blog posts on relatable fashion.

    See you soon, till then wear a saree, gift a saree, fall in love with a saree…

    xoxo

    Mrs. Raay

  • My Journey Towards Minimalism

    I have always been very prone to shopping without thinking much. Later realised how much money I have spent on rubish. Before spending on anything one must ask these 3 questions to herself/himself:
    a) Do I have the budget for it?
    b) What value will this add to my life?
    c) Is it an investment or will the selling price decrease with time?

    Do I ask all these questions before buying something? Hell No! I don’t really need to ask these questions everytime I buy something because somehow I have managed to internalise them. Most of the time the answers for the 3rd question aren’t satisfactory but still the things add value to my life. So I collect them. Experience them.
    Last year I had watched a documentary about Minimalism. It moved me quite a bit. Today I want to share some of the thoughts on Minimal lifestyle.

    ◆After watching a documentary on minimalism I realized that a new bronzer actually didn’t give me the joy I was expecting to experience. Yes, I love makeup and I own a lot of it. That’s what I feel. “But It’s not enough”- that’s what all those makeup brands and bloggers say all the time. And I started feeling the need of having another foundation, just to test it, just to have it in my collection. But I always felt that I don’t need so much stuff!! And they don’t actually give me happiness. What they provide is just a momentary excitement. And this documentary actually answered a lot of questions that I had.
    Minimalism doesn’t mean letting go what you love. It tells you to consume thoughtfully. It talks about creating space for meaningful things… Space for relationships… Space for creativity… Space for peace.
    So I am going to consciously change my lifestyle and I want to share my journey in this blog.
    I’m not saying I’ll get rid off all my makeup products or clothing. My first priority would be not to consume any more.
    I’m going to read more about minimalism and I will share what I feel is important with you guys.
    Let’s hope for something different, productive and meaningful.
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    Are you also interested in minimalistic lifestyle like me??
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    ◆My minimalistic thoughts
    ★ i will sort what I actually need
    ★ I will only buy something when I will need it ( when it’s finished / 99% used)
    ★ I will get rid off what I don’t need (gift/sale/donate)
    ★ reuse things
    ★ mix n match
    ★ mix lipsticks and create new colours. Yes there is no need to buy another new lip colour!
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    ◆”Spend like a beggar and invest like a king”- I heard that today, in a YouTube video. And it’s so true!! Investments can be done for learning a new thing or for a business, for travelling, for physical fitness… Investing on one’s self is the best way to spend your money.. Actually you are not only giving it away, you are actually getting return..
    I was away for so long from this insta account but wasn’t away from the minimalistic lifestyle. I have sorted my makeup collection, my book collection and also the digital junk. Now I have plenty space on my phone and on the racks too. But I’m struggling with few things:

    1. How to give those books away?? I mean I really Don’t want to sell those books to the ‘kabadiwala’! I’m thinking about doing a giveaway. Can you suggest me something else?
    2. Don’t know what to do with the makeup products that I kept aside. I can’t sell them or give them to anyone because they are used. The only option is to throw them away. I need some ideas here as well!! Help! Help!
      .
      My wardrobe is next place that I want to sort out. Let’s see how it goes!!
      .
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    Back to today:
    I have gifted a book to my friend. She was pleased to have that best seller. Gifted her a few cosmetics and a hair serum. Gifted another friend a brand new foundation bottle which was not my shade but a perfect match for her. And I have donated a huge pile of clothes to my sister-in-law who volunteers for a NGO. I still have to work on my urge to shop though. I still add products to the cart and check out mostly when I’m PMS-ing.
    Every journey takes time. Every step towards something better takes effort. I’m happy that I am atleast heading somewhere. Hurdles will be there and I will fall but I will jump and WILL cross them.

    What do you think about following something religiously? What are you working on? If you are interested, go watch the documentary ‘The Minimalists’ on Netflix. They have a instagram account as well.
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    Will see you soon with another post. Till then find a purpose in life and cultivate it.

    xoxo
    Mrs Raay